Me. At least after what I've been through.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
