Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
