how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
