My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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