just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
