I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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