Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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