happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
