Already got asked if we're dating
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
