If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
