thus making me awesome and them whores
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
