youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
not ubering you a puppy
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
