Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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