I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
