He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
