I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
