she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
