ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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