Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
