I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
