Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
