i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
