just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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