sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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