You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
