He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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