what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
