There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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