and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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