I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
