i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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