Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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