when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
