im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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