Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
