He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
