I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
