porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
