Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
one might say we're banned from that church
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
