I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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