just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
