Do vagina's smell?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
