remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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