Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
