I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
