nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
