It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
