So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
