How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
