Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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