I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
My ATM looks so different sober.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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