I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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