real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
